You made that first call, maybe after days, weeks or months of thinking about it, searching, and seeking it out.  Now you found a therapist that seems like a good fit, and you made your first appointment.  Suddenly nervousness has kicked in as your heart is racing, and you’re wondering what to expect from your first session.  It’s really strange to go into someone’s office that you don't know and tell them your life story or dark secrets. So it’s completely normal to feel nervous or weird.  

Understanding what can happen in your first session can help calm your nerves.  We all know that the unknown can be anxiety provoking so having some idea about what that first meeting might be like could help put you at ease.  

Prior to your first meeting

You don't have to do anything to prepare for your first session.  You just need to bring yourself to the session.  However, it can be helpful to reflect on what’s bringing you to therapy now to have some idea of what you want from therapy. If you have been struggling with the problem that brought you to therapy, why now?  It might be “I need help dealing with my anxiety,” or “I want to get over this relationship.” Having a goal in mind helps to track your progress in therapy. It’s just a place to start. So if you could fast forward three, six or nine months and therapy is doing what you need, what would your life look like?  How would you know therapy was helping?

When you first meet

Most therapists that I know, myself included, begin the initial first session by greeting the client and asking about their day and how it was finding the office.  Friendly conversation to bring ease and comfort before talking about the deeper stuff.  Once you are comfortably settled in, you will be asked about your history, your family and friends and your work as well as your physical health and any thing you might find important for a therapist to know.  You don't have to discuss anything you’re uncomfortable sharing.  Therapy is about a relationship, and that may need time to develop depending on your comfort level.  Yet be honest.  A therapist is not there to judge you in any way, and the more honest you are, the more therapy will help you get what you need.  Most therapists are there to meet you where you are.  

Then you will talk about goals you have, how you want to feel and how you will know therapy is giving you what you need.  For some, therapy is a place to let out their feelings and gain clarity in what’s happening for them.  For others, the need is to gain tools to help them through or to get to a specific goal.  It’s important to have an intention or goal for what you want out of therapy which can most definitely change over time.   

How long will it be for change to happen

You may wonder how long it will be until you notice some changes in how you feel. In general, you should notice that you have more awareness within three to five sessions.  Remember how long you have been struggling. and know it’s not going to be healed overnight.  However, it’s important to understand that you WILL feel uncomfortable.  You are facing problems that you might not have faced before, and that is not easy.  Feelings that you may have been unconsciously pushing away may emerge.  And change is hard!  Good therapy requires you to make changes, and for most, that entails hard work and effort.  It’s similar when one begins a new workout regime.  Sometimes we are excited to go and other times it’s a push, knowing it could be painful.  And those six pack abs don’t show up after one workout; it takes time and commitment.  That’s similar to healing our wounds and changing what's not working for us.  

Therapy is the best place to be honest about your experience, and process how you feel.  Most clients leave that first session with a sense of relief or lightness just knowing they were heard and feel supported embarking on this journey.  

After the first session

When it comes to finding a therapist, fit is of utmost importance. Studies show that the relationship with your therapist is more important than the therapist’s approach or style. Evaluate how it went.  Did you feel understood? How was the feedback?  Did it feel like your therapist gets what you need? What is your gut feeling?  It’s important that you felt comfortable. Just remember that progress takes time and building a trusting relationship takes time so unless you felt a huge red flag, stay open to scheduling another session.  

Therapy is a safe place to tell the truth so if something isn't working, speak up.  Express how you feel.  It’s good practice, and you want to get what you need from your time in session.  

It’s a difficult first step to make a decision to see a therapist.  I hope you find the right therapist for you and you find the relief and have the life changing experience that therapy can be.