Learn about HSP's from an HSP Anxiety Therapist in Boca Raton

You keep hearing “you’re too sensitive, get over it.”  But you feel like you can’t.  You cry easily, whether from sadness or joy, and no one seems to understand.  Instead, they make you feel like something is wrong is with you.  You are touched deeply by things like art or music.  You can watch a commercial and be moved to tears or cover your eyes when violence is shown on tv or in a movie.  Loud noises can be startling while strong smells can be irritating.  And crowds, well, they can be intolerable.  You feel the need to get away and be alone.  You feel like the misfit, the weird one and nothing you do seems to change it.

My brother recently shared a memory with me from when I was three years old, and I was inconsolably crying.  He described me as, “miserable.”  My heart felt a pang hearing that, remembering being described throughout my early childhood as “ shy and moody,” and others being told to ignore me.  But then, while talking to my brother, I felt huge validation, knowing I AM a highly sensitive person, and I was born that way! At three years old, I was not choosing to be “miserable.” My high sensitivity was activated. On that call with my brother, I also felt compassion for my three year old who didn’t have anyone around who understood that.  My nervous system was overstimulated, and those around me did not know how to help me sooth and calm. It took a long time to feel acceptance for my high sensitivity, and after reading Elaine Aron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Person, and learning my brain is biologically wired differently, I started embracing the beautiful traits of being highly sensitive.  High sensitivity IS my superpower.  

Research shows that about 20% of the population are what Dr. Aron calls a Highly Sensitive Person.  She began researching in 1991, and learned that the brains of those who are highly sensitive are different.  So HSP’s, as we are called, are born this way. Because it’s a relatively newer discovery, most people are unaware of it. 

According to Dr. Aron, “the highly sensitive person (HSP) has a sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in his/her surroundings, and is more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment.” 

Here are some signs to know if you might be highly sensitive.

1. You get emotionally drained from other people’s emotions.

HSP’s are aware of subtleties in their environment, especially with other people, noticing a change in mood or behavior that others tend to miss.  An HSP has a high capacity for empathy along with their sensitivity so they tend to feel the feelings of others which can cause emotional exhaustion. 

2.  Comfortable clothing is a must.

If it itches or feels too tight, you need it off of your body right away.  You make your clothing choices based on comfort, and if you wear something that is not comfortable, you can’t focus on anything else. 

3. Violence is hard to watch

You find it difficult to watch violence on the news or in the movies as they feel too intense and unsettling. What you saw or heard may stay with you for a while, and you feel the need to process your experience. .

4. Being under time pressure and having too much to do is overwhelming.

You become stressed and anxious when you have too much to do and struggle to stay on task.  You like having a schedule but can become easily overwhelmed if there is too much on your to do list.

5.  Loud noises bother you.

When you hear something like a loud lawnmower or even loud talking, the sound irritates you and you just want it to stop.  If you’re around a lot of noise, you want to get away to somewhere quiet.  

6.  Labeled as shy.

When you were growing up, as you might have needed to quietly take in your environment, the adults around labeled you as shy. 

7.  Crying comes easily. 

You can cry because something feels sad, stressful or joyful.  Emotion just flows out of you with ease. 

8.  Criticism can be excruciating.  

You take things personally.  Criticism is like a dagger in your chest.  It stings and stays with you.  You watch others let it just roll off their back but you can’t. 

9. Being observed freaks you out.

Giving a school presentation as a kid stressed you out, and now, as an adult, when you have to be observed at work, you get so overwhelmed and don’t do as well as you could have. You excel in work with privacy.  

10. Weather extremes feel intolerable.

Extremes during the summer and winter weather effects you. People around you think you are just complaining but your body physically experiences the extreme in temperature as painful. 

Though there are traits that make being an HSP challenging, being an HSP is a strength.  HSP’s are empathic, compassionate, self aware, and creative.  When raised in a good environment with parents who are in tune, HSP’s excel in life.

As for my own experience being an HSP — I love that little things touch my heart and bring tears.  Though the turbulent times can be difficult, I love that when the good stuff happens, I get to feel that more deeply, too.  I love that I experience life deeply and can feel someone else’s pain and sit with it with them through it. It’s a gift I get to bring to work with me everyday.

Recognizing your high sensitivity and embracing it can stop you from feeling bad about yourself like it did for me and so many others. If you’re still unsure if you’re a highly sensitive person, take Dr. Aron’s quiz.   If you or someone you know is struggling with high sensitivity, as an anxiety therapist in Boca Raton, I can offer tools and support. Learn more here.